Instinct vs Second Opinion

(weird post alert weird post alert)

I mostly live my life based on my instinct. And it usually goes something like this.

Me: I want to buy this thing.
My head: This is expensive.
My heart: You probably wouldn’t come here until the next movie comes out, so you've plenty of time to save up your money anyway.
My hand: Hurry up and grab it already.
My leg: Hurry before anyone sees you!

It is vital to run before anyone sees me succumbing to the evilness that is spending, because then, they’ll ask, “What did you buy?”

And I will stand there, plastering my face with an idiotic grin. “Oh, you know…”

“No,” they’ll retort, “I don’t.”

T.T Can’t you pretend to at least know? T.T

(wait why did I write ‘they’ when it’s an ‘I’ uhh…)

I only ask for a second opinion when my entire existence clashed with each other. I don’t appreciate sudden second opinion because then, it’ll go like this.

Me: I want to submit this.
My head: THIS IS LAME.
My heart: You’ll never know if it’s lame or not until the person gives her evaluation.
My hands: Hand it hand it hand it already…
My legs: Faster!!! It’ll decrease the pain.

(Trust me, this only happen in a second or so…or. Erm. I for sure did not freeze the time.)

And then there’s the second opinion.

Her: Maybe you need to reproof that!
Her head: Don’t want me to nag about it later.
Her heart: Don’t want me to regret about it later.
Her hands: Trying hard to resist from battling my hands.
Her legs: Is asleep. Maybe.

My entire existence: Oh. Uhh. So I shouldn’t…submit this?

Her entire existence is loudly shouting, “NO!”

Me: I’m contemplating-wait. I never contemplate.
My head: Follow your heart.
My heart: Follow your head.
My hands: Follow me?!
My legs: Pfft you can’t even walk.

Sometimes, I wonder…

I’ve been fine for the past years listening to the bickering of my weird parts, so should I add the voice of others to the mix? In a way, it did falter my confidence. My instinct is always courageous, but the voice of others is holding me back. But admittedly, those voices did provide new dimension to my rather secluded mind-heart-hand-leg, so I couldn’t blindly brush them off.

Instinct and second opinion, which do you prefer?

For me, it's...

I...

...I’m not even sure anymore.

Oh well.

Head, always the logical.
Heart, always the sensible.
Hands, always the courageous.
Legs, always the cowardice.

YOU ARE NOT HELPING AT ALL.

P/S: THIS IS SUCH A WEIRD POST. But yes, I'm having mixed thoughts now.