Saturday, February 13, 2010

We live in different worlds...or are we?

Someone brought up this subject.

“Love after marriage is sweeter than love before marriage.”

That is to say, he believed that one could see a person’s true color after spending their lives with each other, day and night, no boundaries, no secrets…sooner or later, there’ll be love in the air, engulfing everyone with happiness, happy ever after, such and such…

That is nice and all, but what if your significant other didn’t, or couldn’t, love you? Our hearts aren’t the same. You could live with each other for eternity and still couldn’t touch his heart. I know this, because I’ve seen it loads of times.

Arranged marriage is not an unusual thing in my family. Granted, my father chose my mother over my grandmother’s choice, but other than that, the rest in my family basically follow the path that the heads of the family had chosen.

Then again, I suppose most of them are happy with their spouses, since they look outwardly bliss?

Even now, my cousins are destined with arranged marriage, either because of status or old friendship sake. There is a situation where someone decided to rebel and turn her back against the marriage, and well, that didn’t have a happy ending.

I’ve always known, or perhaps, hoped that I’ll be married to my family’s choice one day. I’ve noticed that others too have the same conclusion in their heads—that, or I wouldn’t get married at all. Personal reasons and all that. My problems are too much of a burden for a mere stranger anyway.

Being the odd one out has always been my greatest charm, but when it turns out like this, it makes me quite miserable indeed.

And even though my parents have clearly made their point on letting us choose our own partner in life—since their own history of arranged marriage made them wary of recklessly pairing their children with another—I, and perhaps everyone, have always known that I, the black sheep, will be excluded.

They’ll have no choice but to find me a suitor one day, and I can only hope that he’ll be someone as amiable as other’s partner.

I held on that thought.

But as I grow up, I’m not so sure anymore.

Reality isn’t as blissful as TV dramas, or even books, isn’t it? Sure, the books may portray the hardships and conflicts that the characters have to endure and overcome, but most, if not all, realize their mistakes and live happily ever after in the end.

How can we be sure that such things could happen in real life?

Not that I have little faith in life, but I’ve seen enough to conclude that things didn’t go as smoothly as on TV.

Sometimes, I wonder, what a household would be like if a husband didn’t have any respect for his wife?

Forget love. If there’s no respect, how can we be certain that a wife could live her entire life with her chosen husband?

It’s not fair to treat your wife like a nobody when you treated everyone like some sort of royalty.

It’s not fair that the wife didn’t know a thing about your life when you basically know everything about hers.

It’s not fair that the wife is nothing but a pretty vase, only there for your own pleasure, for the beauty and what it’s worth.

It’s not fair that your life is your life, and her life is her life.

My father’s life has always been my mother’s life, regardless of her not experiencing it with her own hands. Heck, even I know every single thing about my parents’ lives, since they always discuss and share their day over high tea. They would share their views, support each other’s decisions, criticize their actions, diligently listening to whatever comes out from each other’s mouth…

I am a pampered kid. I thought my parents are ordinary, but that’s not the case apparently. I never realized how outspoken they are, and how quiet some households are.

That makes me sad.

To everyone out there, please, reach out your hands, invite your spouses to your life, to your world.

Don’t take the word matrimony for granted. It’s the joining of two souls isn’t it? Make use of it! Don’t let your wife sheds more tears due to your inconsideration—no, don’t even let their eyes crystallized with shame for marrying you.

May both of you live happily ever after with loads of love until the end of time.

P/S: cringe-worthy English in this post. I know >.>


Nashuha said...

hmm... hmmm.. hmmm >.<

Huda said...

think again...

Maybe he's just not that into you wahahah :P