Thursday, January 28, 2010

Headache, maybe.

(my English in horrendous in this post...I don't know why~~~ D: Tired, maybe? :|)

There are several things that caused my head to throb when I first came here.

One of them is the Persian language.

There’s a channel called MBC Persia, which broadcast western movies with Persian subtitles. I can’t watch the channel at first because my eyes tend to waver towards the subtitles, demanding my brain on why it couldn’t be deciphered.

Of’s in Persian.

And I don’t understand Persian, at all.

It feels like…this is so familiar yet so strange. I know this word but how come it’s so weird?

I kind of understood what they said but at the same time, I don't.

I can read this word but I don't really think so.

That is so weird, right? XD

Then, I began to venture into the world of Arabic dramas, trying to grasp their dialects. I examined the music of the Middle East as well, and noticed on how the industry is monopolized with Egyptian and Lebanese dialects. Most of the singers came from these countries, so I guess that's why.

Thus, it’s interesting to hear that most of the dramas use the Syria dialect.

And yes, no one here really speaks Modern Standard Arabic (MSA).

Because, well, you can’t really survive here by speaking in Fus7a (MSA). People will laugh at you…for sure.

Oh well, more on that later. (I think I’ve written that on my other post as well…and I’ve yet to elaborate the matter further regarding that topic…but well…I need to wake up early tomorrow—going out on a trip! :D)

For the time being, I’ll show you something Persian related.

مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق - Prophet Yusuf As-sadiq Series

(You can watch the rest on Youtube)

I’ve only watched the series for about…half an hour? Not because it bores me (I love this kind of story) but I was straining my brain hard on figuring what kind of dialect is this.

(I downloaded the series so there‘s no description on the language etc etc D:)

Half an hour later, I realized that if this language gave me a headache (and by headache, I mean, this language sounds so familiar yet so strange), then it must be…



Slow…yeah I suppose I was a tad slow.

Oh well. Hope you like the series. :D

If only it’s in Arabic~ D:

Maybe I should learn Persian as well~

Wednesday, January 27, 2010


"I'll be moving to Tumblr..."


"From now on, I will only update on Tumblr..."


"I won't use this blog anymore, so check me out on Tumblr..."

XO <- that's obviously not a kiss and hug emoticons...

nooo why does everyone move to tumblr???




So off I went to the land of Tumblr to see what's so great about it...

And made myself an account. o.o

Well I'm off to check out some people...

Not sure if I'll follow them though. I've somehow posted odd things on my tumblr. o.O

Oh well.

*plays with Tumblr* <- in case you want to check out mine...not that you want...but well...just in case.



I get it now!

February is the odd month.

January is the emo month.


Oh it's not February yet.


Safar then!


What kind of a blogpost is this...?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I want a carnation.

(the title is so random.)

I was struck by this particular quote.

“Meeting someone and having a very positive and powerful attraction to them right away is a sign that this is someone we have loved well before.”

I don’t believe in reincarnation however.

A myth by Amr Al-Makki.

God created the hearts seven thousand years before the bodies and kept them in the station of proximity to Himself and He created the spirits seven thousand years before the hearts and kept them in the garden of intimate fellowship (uns) with Himself, and the consciences -- the innermost part -- He created seven thousand years before the spirits and kept them in the degree of union (waṣl) with Himself. Then he imprisoned the conscience in the spirit and the spirit in the heart and the heart in the body. Then He tested them and sent prophets, and then each began to seek its own station. The body occupied itself with prayer, the heart attained to love, the spirit arrived at proximity to its Lord, and the innermost part found rest in union with Him.

Conscience -> Spirit -> Heart -> Body

Then conscience is in the spirit, the spirit is in the heart, and the heart is in the body.

The body is not forever ours.

We didn’t carry our hearts to the afterlife either…or will we?

Spirit defines us, and conscience accompanies us.

Is it possible for us to be born again in this world? I am led to believe that the reason we are here is to prove our worth and overcome all these trials.

Hajj is a trial as well.

Adam and Eve didn’t come to this world for fun—they did a terrible mistake, and they were here as a punishment, to repent themselves.

You couldn’t possibly get a second chance, could you?

Thus, reincarnation – not possible in my book. Even the Quran has stated several times that we will all be resurrected on the judgment day, and that’s where all of our deeds will be calculated, to hell, or to heaven, only God knows.

If we did well in this life, then we’ll be awarded with an afterlife that we deserved. The world is a platform to show our worth, to show that we are not as vulnerable and weak, to show that we can overcome every trial that lands on our way.

I’m repeating myself.


More on that later.

Rest in Peace

Something that I know pretty well (and learned) by now is that after the death of a person, he didn’t rise to the skies just yet, but linger on earth for a good seven days.

I couldn’t find more information about it on the net, which is odd, but well, you can never trust the internet much nowadays, especially not concerning sensitive topic as this.

(Believe me...don't believe me...I don't really care.)

That is why, people with a faint heart or weak resistance aren’t recommended in attending funerals. Not because of the whole corpse looks spooky or anything, it’s because the soul is still there, watching your every move, before finally saying goodbye.

(and also, some people have their own companion, and the companion will be there as well, but let’s not venture into that topic.)

So take the chance to wish wellness and pray for your deceased loved ones, may he could rise to the skies without much difficulties, and may he will be placed amongst the good people.


In memory of our late Sultan.

Better late than never? :D

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Attraction is a curious thing.

So, let’s see. Straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual.

Those didn’t sound remotely off-putting or even odd nowadays.

It was considered taboo, once upon a time, but the society began to accept it more and treat it like a normal thing.

Although, I suppose in various religions, it’s still a forbidden thing. But some people couldn’t control their preference, I understand that.

It’s better to embrace it than fight it, right? Liking a girl and be happy is better than pretending to like a boy and be miserable. You only live once. You don’t want to die in misery. I want to say that maybe this odd feeling is a trial given by God to test your patience and faith, but not everyone believes in God, so I can’t really say much about that.

Still, it is a twisted thing. A female (Eve) was created from a male’s rib (Adam), so that the female would be close to his side, a sign that female and male belong together. Their love will continue to the heaven after they die, a throne for the king, a throne for the queen, with angels at their commands. There are no two kings, no two queens. Only a pair of king and queen, so you see, in various religions, there is no place for same-sex relationships, it’s simply not meant to be. Even naturally speaking, it couldn't be done. And by naturally, I mean...nature.

Reminds me of the ruckus over Ms California’s answer last year, where she said, “In my country, and in my family, I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman.”

Religion aside, I learned that the reason why humans are attracted to each other is because they found their partner complimented their beauty and good for reproducing. Science is an odd thing, but yes, apparently the human’s instinct led them in finding the perfect companion for reproduction, producing offspring that will carry their legacy.

That is why, sometimes you’ll be attracted to those that carry the same features as yours. Most of the time, couples in marriage have striking resemblance with each other, and I heard it all the time while attending wedding ceremonies, “They look like siblings!” or, “How cute, he looks like her!”

…which sounds weird in that context, but trust me, it was a high compliment to be received by a couple.

Now, same-sex relationships just busted that theory, doesn’t it? There is something else that provoke attractions, and not only due to reproduction sake.

Because obviously you can’t reproduce with two…yeah…too much information alert? o.O

Anyway, I happened to attend a lecture on this subject the other day, and it froze my brain.

*scratch head*

(I’m beginning to think that I indeed learned the darnedest things nowadays…)

To the boys, do you find…uhh…The Kaulitz twins beautiful, by chance? (Tokio Hotel has definitely caught a lot of young maiden’s hearts…)
To the girls, do you find…urm…Megan Fox hot? (I can’t think of anyone else…)

Well, if you do, then apparently, you’re not 100% straight.

Oh wow WHAT?! XD

Now, I’ve been told that all of us stand on the middle of the line, and we are prone of liking men or women. Some girls are closer to the male side, thus liking men, while some others are closer to the female side, making them lesbian.

Or, you could waver from that other end to the other end and become both—bisexual.

Being 100% straight is simply impossible. At most, you’ll only be 99% straight. There’s always that 1% that distorted your orientation. You never know, you’ll find a girl hot one fine day.

Attraction is a bizarre thing, they said, and attraction didn’t recognize gender. It’s possible to be straight and like a girl at the same time. It just means that you’re 80% straight and 20% lesbian. Same could be said with men, and that’s why sometimes, when you look at someone, you found them exceptionally attractive, even though they are the same gender as you.

Now…Hmm. Well.

I don’t thoroughly agree with that. There is something called ‘respect’ and ‘admiration’, isn’t it? If I found a cat visually attractive, does that change my orientation? It’s not as if I want to hook up with a cat, right?

…that sounds weird.

Anyway, let’s take it this way. I’m sure that nearly everyone has seen plenty of beautiful celebrities on TV, and once in a while, will find them hot or attractive, enough to make your heart beat. You’ll gush over them, but there are those that you didn’t fall in love with, just merely appreciate the beauty and the talent, but still, you gush over them anyhow.

Is that possible? To appreciate the celebrity and not fall romantically?

Well, if she/he somehow found a partner in life, and you didn’t pluck your hair in rage, then yeah, you were attracted to them because of admiration. Not because of reproduction sake.

Or love. Okay.

I love two people, and those are xi and sa. Hence the xisa.

But not romantically, of course. I would gag before hooking up with either of them.

Now, xi happens to be male, and sa is a female. Does that make me bisexual?

When I was in the fandom, people looked at me strangely for not crushing over xi. I seem to like him for different reasons. And that was odd, apparently.

But I didn’t like him that way. I just simply admire him. Is that weird?

Same could be said with sa. And I happen to fangirl sa more than xi. Does that make me more lesbian?

I don’t think so. Never in my mind would I want to actually hook up with either of them.

It’s just merely respect and admiration.

And these things that say a girl admires another girl because she’s 20% lesbian, is laughable.

You don’t fall in love easily, you know.

Love is a magical thing.

…this post is strangely…


Finding people attractive, regardless of gender, doesn’t distort your orientation even further.

Attraction doesn’t necessarily attract love, but love depends on attraction.

I’m not making any sense.

Oh well.


P/S: I hope anyone wouldn't find this offensive. It's just that attraction is a very odd thing. That is all.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Kill it or save it?

(I was thinking of posting about Umrah, but decided not to.)

(I also thought of posting about this amusing thing, but suddenly I don’t have the motivation.)


Oh Nashuha, why must you live at the other side of the continent and sleep earlier than me? I need to talk to you pronto. Now I have no one to talk to, just my blog, but my blog couldn’t sooth me you know. Well, serve you right for knowing my secret! Muahahaha D: 


Have you had the feeling that you like something, tried to acquire it with all of your power, did every possible thing that you could, but then you hate it with all of your passion, wanting it to vanish for eternity, never to be seen by your eyes again? You want it like nobody’s business at first, but out of a sudden, your confidence crumbled, and all you ever wanted is to have nothing to do with that thing.

This…thing. *wargh kills it with a machinegun*

Now, what should you do when this thing happen?

First, talk to someone that you trust.
>My secretkeeper is in dreamland.

Second, clear up your mind.
>My mind is clear, but my senses are depressed.

Third, distract your mind.
>Distracting now! I feel less like a loser.

Fourth, reevaluate your choices with your rational mind. Weigh down the pros and cons, and don’t let your emotions blind you.
>Now this is hard.

If you’re having difficulties with step number four, it is wise to ask for help from your trusted person.
>But she’s asleep!

If you’re having difficulties with the previous step, it is wise to keep on distracting your mind.

When your emotions are all behind you, then weigh down the possibilities and make your decision.

Make sure that once the decision is made, stick with it, and don’t let any foreign sensation clouded your heart again.
>I’ll try.


Ladies and gentlemen, if you are having difficulties in making choices, then kindly follow my brain’s advice. I know, she sounds like a robot, but well, you know how brains are.

(okay I kid it’s all me I’m just having this rare drama queen moment)

Hope this post proves useful.

:D <- a forced grin.

I need to be cheered up. T_____________________T

EDIT: After much thinking, I've decided that my quest in life is to make everyone happy. Yay? :D <- this is a genuine grin.

EDIT2: I think I've just made someone very, very happy and that made me happy too (*^^*) ngeeeh :D

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


(sorry for the messiness of this post, I don't have time to proofread XD)

Tomorrow is weekend!

In this part of the world, Thursday is the weekend while Saturday is the first day of the week. :D And today is a half-day, because Wednesday is the last weekday.

Awesome? Well, it did take a lot of time to get used to.

So, since today is a half-day, we decided to go to Mecca and perform our Umrah! :D We'll be staying there for a couple of days, so I'll be gone for a while. I will miss my blog (and twitter) for sure. XD

Masjidil Haram! This is taken during my Hajj’s pilgrimage.

This is also taken during my Hajj’s pilgrimage, specifically on the third floor. Look at those people…*faints*

I suppose the only time when the Kaabah is actually free of people is during the annual cleaning by the Mayor of Mecca. He’d done it earlier this year, and it consisted of him and his people performing the tawaf around the Kaabah and performing Dhuha prayer inside the Baitullah. I saw it on TV.

There’s also something else that I saw on TV. It was a few days after Gregorian New Year, and they were performing the Dhuha prayer for two hours, from 8 am to 10 am. Very long, isn’t it? But seriously, it was one of the most touching moments I’ve ever seen. The way the Imam recited the surah during the prayer managed to awaken the emotional side of me and I suddenly had the urge of bawling my eyes out. T.T

Oh, and just so you know, the TV broadcasts every prayer on TV. :D So you can tell if Masjidil Haram is currently packed with people or not. And from what I saw, it wasn’t as hectic.

Well, compared to the time during Hajj and Ramadhan months, of course. :D Those times are the busiest times ever, so much that these sights are not unusual to be seen in this land at all.

No police is going to catch you for sitting on top of a car either. Do it at your own risk. :D

Oh, and if your five-seated car has ten people in it, then it’s also okay.

Can you tell I’m rushing? I need to get ready! XD

I hope everything will go well, and may our Umrah will be accepted by Allah. Amin.

I’ll pray that all of your deepest wishes would come true, and may Allah grant what he thinks is best for you.

To everyone who’s going out on a trip or something as well, I hope you’ll have a safe trip!
Semoga selamat perjalanan pergi balik!
Taru7i wa tarja3i bil salama (lazy to switch font lol)
Itterasshai! (lazy to switch font again XD)

Bye for a couple of days! :D

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Inferiority, Rejection, Jealousy...

(And then there’s the study of human’s emotions…which I have no idea about.)

(It all started when she began to talk about the matters of the heart and want us to submit our own opinions. And me: O.O NOOOOO WARGH NOOOOO >.<)

(Seriously, I think everyone is taking revenge on me. >.>)

(Oh well.)

A dainty poetry could portray a thousand emotions through a single sentence, could be interpreted in every way imaginable, and could be related by anyone with different circumstances. All it takes is to keep asking questions, and you’ll get your answers.

Providing you have enough clue, of course.

Inferiority, Rejection, Jealousy…well, these are common topics to be brought up.

The Weed and the Rose
>I am nothing but a lowly weed, scentless and wild, completely ordinary in the garden of bloom. Yet you chose me instead of the heavenly roses, captivating me with your stupendous persona. Your presence is too much to bear, I am fragile and not all that rare, so why, I come to think, that you chose me, instead of them?

The Weed is having some confidence issues.

I don’t blame it—her.

But then, we would ask the girls, “Why would you choose a simple summer dress instead of a pair of elaborate jeans?”

Well, comfort aside, I suppose the right answer would be, it all depends on our preference. We may not think that we are up to their standards, but in the end, their opinions hardly matter. The only opinion that you should hear is the one that comes out from the significant person’s mouth.

I’ll be frank and admit that when I saw these people with their loved ones, I often wonder, what did they see in their significant ones, so much for them to act like a fool?

Yes, I am often amazed on how love could turn you into a fool.


Blergh blergh blergh

Oh yes.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

Now, back to topic.

If your significant other thinks that you’re perfect, then that’s the only thing that matters. Who cares if others beg to differ, they’re just jealous so blah. Shoo.

You’re perfect for him, so you shouldn’t say things like, “I’m much inferior to him…I don’t deserve his—”


Again, I’ve concluded that it’s just a matter of preferences, and beauty is indeed, in the eyes of the beholder.

But then, there’s this, “You’re perfect for me. I must have you despite how you seem to think otherwise!"

The Diamond and the Gold
>I am someone worthy of his throne, delicate and unique, together, we bond. But why, oh why, did he take my heart away, and plunge it simply, with nothing much to say?

It just so happens that the diamond didn’t find the allure of a rose gold as enchanting as say…platinum.

Rejection has become too common it’s almost scary. It takes a whole lot of courage to step up and confess your feelings, and even then, you couldn’t be sure of the outcome.

It’ll be mighty dandy is he accepts your confession, but what if he rejects it?

Major awkward alert.

Definitely more awkward if both of you are friends.

I suppose you shouldn’t pursue a person who didn’t return your feelings. It could annoy him greatly, and well, try to open your eyes and see the world from a different perspective.

You’re not going to let a man destroys your life, would you?

(because I heard it all the time, “I will die if he leaves me!”)

…no comment.

Stop being weak for once and handle rejection with grace! Maybe he’s not the one, maybe he’s not good enough for you, or maybe it’s the total opposite…

But nonetheless, what is life without trials? You just need to keep searching, and don’t hang on something that wouldn’t give you the comfort you seek.

Then again, the heart of a person could change, and sometimes, there are rare cases of being possessive.

The Bee and the Nectar
>For years, I held my nose high, unwilling to make way, unwilling to compromise. Yet why did I feel, a slight tinge of jealousy, when he finally found a she, and that is not me?

You’ve rejected him, you thought you didn’t care, but once he’s out from your reach, you sought for him.

That’s not admirable at all.

I hate when that happened, because then, you’ll be ruining a perfectly well relationship, and you’ll be planting false hope in his heart.

If the sight of a person used to appall you so much, then why bother now? What is this feeling? Is it love, or is it possessiveness?

Let them be happy. You’ll find your own happiness sooner or later, if you persevere.

So I’ve concluded that…

You shouldn’t be ashamed of your own flaws. You are a diamond in the rough to his eyes, despite what others say.
Accept rejection with dignity. Do not hang on something that could only graze your heart with pain.
Do not lick your own spit. Ngahahaha. Eww? :D

YAY FOR CONCLUDING WHILE BLOGGING. Multitasking is awesome. :D

P/S: Post paling poyo.

Monday, January 18, 2010

The Attack of the Thirteenth Final Fantasy

Years back, I told my brothers that I’m going to save my money and buy Final Fantasy XIII and Final Fantasy Versus XIII by my own, because none of them showed enough interest in playing the games as opposed to me.

I reckon they think that Final Fantasy is too sissy so it should only be played by girls like yours truly.

“Heeey,” I countered, “It was you who converted me to the glory of Final Fantasy world.”

“Final Fantasy is the ‘it’ game, once upon a time.”

And apparently, once upon a time is not now.

But I digressed. WATCH THE TRAILER!

(This is Final Fantasy XIII. Frankly, I adore the characters in Final Fantasy Versus XIII more.)

Seriously, I’ve been waiting for years! In fact, while watching this, I was on the verge of—of—

Hehehe. :D

But really, back then, I'd sit in front of the computer, always waiting for new updates, gawking at new pictures, replaying the leaked Japanese clips, punching my pillow at the thought of never playing this game—

(The reaction is more intense while watching Final Fantasy Versus XIII.)

(and oh. I haven’t checked on new updates lately because I’ve been busy…I suppose you can’t tell, but I really am busy you know. :P)

And now, at long last, the international version will finally be released in March, and I don’t have a PS3 or an XBOX360 with me.


Stuff like this makes you wish that you’re back in Malaysia. Because, you know, that’s where all the consoles are.


(well due to several reasons, Malaysia gives me goosebumps, and maybe I'll write more about it later, once I have enough motivation.)

(anyway, back to the actual topic…)

(would be MORE awesome if I have all the consoles with me right now)

(but ehh…I’ll make do with Machinarium, which, in my opinion, is a wonderful game as well.)

(check the trailer! Huhuhu)

(I still don’t have enough money to buy the games though.)

(and by games, I mean Final Fantasy XIII and Final Fantasy Versus XIII.)

(why am I writing in brackets? Oh eh.)

Okay so, that concludes this post. :D

P/S: pretty sure that I tagged nearly every post in this blog as 'random'...but this blog has indeed, been too random and personal for my own liking. Well. Oh well.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Instinct vs Second Opinion

(weird post alert weird post alert)

I mostly live my life based on my instinct. And it usually goes something like this.

Me: I want to buy this thing.
My head: This is expensive.
My heart: You probably wouldn’t come here until the next movie comes out, so you've plenty of time to save up your money anyway.
My hand: Hurry up and grab it already.
My leg: Hurry before anyone sees you!

It is vital to run before anyone sees me succumbing to the evilness that is spending, because then, they’ll ask, “What did you buy?”

And I will stand there, plastering my face with an idiotic grin. “Oh, you know…”

“No,” they’ll retort, “I don’t.”

T.T Can’t you pretend to at least know? T.T

(wait why did I write ‘they’ when it’s an ‘I’ uhh…)

I only ask for a second opinion when my entire existence clashed with each other. I don’t appreciate sudden second opinion because then, it’ll go like this.

Me: I want to submit this.
My head: THIS IS LAME.
My heart: You’ll never know if it’s lame or not until the person gives her evaluation.
My hands: Hand it hand it hand it already…
My legs: Faster!!! It’ll decrease the pain.

(Trust me, this only happen in a second or so…or. Erm. I for sure did not freeze the time.)

And then there’s the second opinion.

Her: Maybe you need to reproof that!
Her head: Don’t want me to nag about it later.
Her heart: Don’t want me to regret about it later.
Her hands: Trying hard to resist from battling my hands.
Her legs: Is asleep. Maybe.

My entire existence: Oh. Uhh. So I shouldn’t…submit this?

Her entire existence is loudly shouting, “NO!”

Me: I’m contemplating-wait. I never contemplate.
My head: Follow your heart.
My heart: Follow your head.
My hands: Follow me?!
My legs: Pfft you can’t even walk.

Sometimes, I wonder…

I’ve been fine for the past years listening to the bickering of my weird parts, so should I add the voice of others to the mix? In a way, it did falter my confidence. My instinct is always courageous, but the voice of others is holding me back. But admittedly, those voices did provide new dimension to my rather secluded mind-heart-hand-leg, so I couldn’t blindly brush them off.

Instinct and second opinion, which do you prefer?

For me, it's...


...I’m not even sure anymore.

Oh well.

Head, always the logical.
Heart, always the sensible.
Hands, always the courageous.
Legs, always the cowardice.


P/S: THIS IS SUCH A WEIRD POST. But yes, I'm having mixed thoughts now.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Stalking the Flags...

I’m not sure how many times I’ve mentioned this to other people, but really, drawing KSA’s flag is kind of hard.

I mean, look at the flag! (...and yes, if you happened to see your feedjit bombarded with this little green flag, then it's probably me...)

(But hey! I usually left a comment so no worries about me stalking your blog or something...)

Writing the Khat is really harder than it looks. To make it as neat as the above is definitely a tedious task. It's actually a rather complicated flag...

That being said, some countries have a fairly simple flag. I was browsing my Feedjit tracker (*gulp*) and noticed quite a few things.

Ireland and India kind of have the same color combination, didn’t they? XD (The Ireland flag was below the Indian flag at the time and I was like, “Hey…!” Not sure how I get a hit from India though. And Ireland, well…I did stalk a lot of blogs from Ireland didn’t I? wahahaha D:)

And I come to notice that lots of European countries use the three colors combination on their flags as well.

Cookies to you if you can guess the country of this flag :D (it's a friend of mine)

And the flag of United Kingdom doesn’t look that difficult to draw either.

(oh yeah I stalked a whole lot of blogs from the UK too D:)

Oh oh and the Australian flag reminds me of the similarities between the Star Spangled Banner and the Jalur Gemilang.

But I must say, drawing the Japanese flag must’ve been the easiest task of them all. Just take a white paper, stamp a red dot on it, and voila! The flag of Japan!

...which brings you to the point of this rather pointless post.

The other day, I saw the flag of Japan waving on my tracker feed thing…and I went, OH NO MY SISTER!

But my sister uses Safari and her laptop runs on Mac OS-don’t-know-which-one so it can’t really be her, can it?

So I asked with a grin on my face, “Hey did you use Internet Explorer? :D”

Of course, she replied, “Why would I wanna use IE on a Mac?”

I suppose hinting that a Mac person might be using IE is an insult of its own.

But I digressed. “You see I saw someone going to my blog from my FB and that person’s from Japan so it’s must be youuuu!!!111!!”

Well, I didn’t really say it like that.

I typed, “Well I saw someone visited my blog, and that person is from your place, but that person’s using IE and Windows Vista, and that person read every post that I published, and yeah I know, those are stupid postsss. Why did I write those things again? Oh, and yeah, I thought it was you. T.T”

To that, my sister replied, “Whoa need to investigate who uses IE then huhu”

I don’t really mind the identity of that person but I kind of wish he/she could leave a comment and break my theory about my sister stalking me. D:

And I saw a couple of other flags as well and I thought, “Oh no is this my aunt, hey is this my brother, hey is that—”

Yeah, if this thing bugged me so much I shouldn’t have bother with the tracker—should have deleted it, or plainly ignored it—but seeing them visiting my blog makes me very happy. (*^^*) Despite how I don’t get what so interesting about this place anyway, with them coming back each time…

Yes yes I hate that feeling very much, and that’s why I commented on every single blog I've visited. D: Does that annoy you? No? Yes?

Oh well. :D

Anytime you visit me, say hello~ It’ll make a blog’s author very, very happy indeed. (*^^*)

(and add me on Twitter. I don't mind.)

P/S: I still conclude that drawing KSA's flag is not as easy as it looks. Or as hard as it looks. Oh well. :D

Optimistic vs Pessimistic

Nowadays, it seems as if I’ve been breathing the same air as the poets, indulging in their heartfelt words, envisioning their colorful illusions, desperately bewitching your soul into the land of sweetened fantasy.

A mere flick of the fingers brought me back to reality, and I realized that compared to them, I am much too callous and self-centered to be accepted into their circle of deep poise.

Not that I have to join their circle or anything, but it is interesting and extremely, extremely inspirational.

Somehow, I’ve been inspired by the darnedest things nowadays. My eyes will catch a sight of a picture and I’ll say, “Oh, that’s inspiring.” A melodic hum will land in my ears and I’ll say, “Wow, how inspiring.” An amusing one-liner made me chortle and I’ll retort, “Now that’s inspirational.”

Yet inspired was I, but not lethal enough to kill my laziness. It did sprinkle some positive vibes into my life, but truthfully, I don’t like being optimistic all the time. I suppose there are times when optimism is a must, and times where being pessimistic didn’t sound too bad.

Situation 1 – Getting my results

Optimistic Me thinks she’s going to ace it.
Optimistic Me gets a B.

Pessimistic Me thinks she’s going to fail.
Pessimistic Me gets a B.

See? Being too optimistic gives you false hope. And what’s worse, you’re probably going to get hurt more than you thought because of the high expectancy. I would rather be the pessimistic person and expect the worse. That way, you’re ready for any possible outcome thrown at your way.

It couldn’t get any worse than that, could it? Keeping your expectation low gives you more space for a slight happiness in the gloominess of day.

Then again, being pessimistic all the time isn’t that good either.

Situation 2 – Today is a freaking bad day.

Optimistic Me has the worst day in her life.
Optimistic Me says: That’s okay. At least I get to eat! And I’m still alive!
*sugar daisy flowery unicorn pukey blargh*

Pessimistic Me has the worst day in her life.
Pessimistic Me says: Told you so. Told you so. Told you so.
*…day gets even more badder...*

So I suppose if it’s a thing that will define your life, it’s better to keep your expectation low, but if it’s a continuous cycle, it’s fine to be optimistic.


Just keep your emotions in check. Being blank once in a while doesn’t sound too bad either.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Bizarre dreams...

Daniel Schaumann’s post here reminds me of the dreams that I often experienced back then, a dream so vivid and lucid, I always felt like crying and tearing my hair out due to the great tormenting of it all.

Of course, his situation may not resemble mine in any way, (I don’t think someone like him will experience this kind of things in his life, maybe the dream means nothing at all) but I thought I should share my own weird dreams and how I cope with that. :D

Let me cut it short and talk about the good parts. I couldn’t remember much of it to be honest, but I was having a spectacular dream, sweet and merry, when everything suddenly changed.

Two men began to capture me, confining me in my own room. It was frightening, and what’s worse was that when this kind of dreams happened, no voice could escape from my lungs, and I was as weak as a deflated balloon. Funny, but true. I couldn’t lift my hand, I couldn’t scream, it was as if my entire existence was pinned to the wall by their power.

Their faces were one of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen. Lizard-like, taunting, didn’t resemble a human at all. And I thought that was horrendous, until I saw their boss. There, in front of me, stood a man in his black cloak. His face was the definition of horror. Hunger and thirst were prominent in his features. He wanted to devour me, I was sure.

(And no. I didn’t watch any horror movie prior to this.)

Except no, he wasn’t thinking of devouring me. He was trying to claim my soul. I can see that he was concentrating on entering himself inside of me, and this is the moment when everything became too weird to comprehend. His soul entered from the tip of my toes, slowly making way to the top of my head. I was burning, the pain was sizzling, too real to ignore. I can feel him manipulating my body, slowly relinquishing my soul.

Of course, when this sort of things happened, it’s wise to ask for God’s help. And in my case, I recited the Quran. At once, my eyes flew opened.

It was traumatic, and lying there in my bed all alone was too frightening, so I quickly dashed to my parents’ room.

I can’t help it. The pain was still sizzling, and I was cold all over.

I still remember muttering, “He’s inside me…he’s inside me…”

I really am not exaggerating the fact. This is only one of the dreams—there are others where I actually die and go to who-knows-where, only to wake up and notice that I’m still alive.

That is weirder. I really thought I was dead. I can feel the angel of death taking my life away—okay I’m not telling more of that. :D

So, what’s the explanation for all these bizarre things?

If you go to any shaman or someone like that, he will tell you that you’ve been possessed by the evil spirit.

If you go to any psychologist or anyone of that sort, he will tell you that your mental state is unstable.

Truthfully, I believe in the evil spirit, but if I were to discuss that, then this post will stray towards the religion path. So let’s focus on the scientific aspect instead.

What causes these things? Psychologists claimed that it has everything to do with your own mind, and if such dreams happened, it means that your head is troubled. They’ll give you pills to calm your nerves, motivation for building up your confidence, and of course, advises on how to promote a healthy mindset.

In a way, these things worked on its own way. The motivations from the psychologist—while undoubtedly annoying—relaxed your mind without you noticing it. Your heart might not accept it thoroughly, but your mind absorbed all of his words, calming the rage that you may feel in your soul.

One of the advices that the psychologist gave me was to always have a little jog in an open space. Breathe in the fresh air, let your mind rest, indulge in the serenity of the greenness, and slowly, taking in the happiness of the environment around you, noting on why were they happy, why were they smiling, and how you could have a smile on your face too.

Next is the matter of finding your own true passion. And once you’ve found it, your mind will concentrate on that entirely, and gradually, your mind problems will go away.

Of course, the pills help in controlling the mind, emptying your thoughts, and simply adding a sprinkle of happiness. Without the pills (especially for those chronic patients) it’s hard to control yourself. You need a fresh start to think it through, and it’s quite difficult to achieve without those pills. However, I would advise to cut your pill intake as soon as you’ve began to regain control of yourself, since the side-effects are not as pretty.

Side-effects include addiction to the pills, obviously.

Friends and family are also important during the healing process. They are mostly in-charge of bringing a smile to your face. Without their care and love, you might not feel the happiness of life straightaway. It’s possible to stand up on your own, but the presence of others definitely hastens the whole healing process.

Once you’ve breathe in the happiness and joy, your mind will be filled of positivity, unconsciously setting a barrier in front of your soul. However, these things could reappear if we’re not careful, because we’ve experienced it and all, so it’s wise to keep your emotions and feelings in check.

Things to do when you’re troubled (but not that chronic) – distract your mind in doing the things that you love, appreciate everything around you while holding a smile, look at things in a different perspective, and just try to be happy. That’s the only thing that could help. Even if you can’t feel the happiness, if you find just a small, insignificant thing that amuses you, hold on to that. Don’t let it go.

So that’s how it is from a scientific point of view.

Of course, I’m trying to not branch into the evil spirit subject.

I’ll talk about the evil spirit subject, if I feel like it. :D

P/S: And hey, since I'll be 21 this year, it means that I've experienced this for 10 years already. Whoa...? XD

Ins and Outs January Edition

The time has come…

Kind of.

Why did I make this thing again?

>J-urban songs with a lot of cool rappings…
>I’m not sure why but January is definitely the slacking off month.
>What DID I do this month, really? (except for the usual things of course)
>Oh yeah I did manage to squeeze a little bit of that and everything.
>And wrote some of the lengthiest comments ever. (your paper lacks the bla bla bla na na na la la la…)
>Okay I DID do something beneficial this month.
>The internet has been so dumb lately.
>I mean the connection.
>Not that it’s brainy in the first place.
>I sound so flat.
>I hereby declare that me in January is ultimate dullness.

>I’ve forgotten all about metal and opera.
>I’ve forgotten about everything.
>Wait I forgot.

Right, this is sad. Everything is lukewarm this month.

Oh well.

On a happier note (or sad note…whatever note…I don’t know what note…) I HIT PAN!!!

*because hitting a pan is an accomplishment for makeup users…it means you actually use them*

Then again…

OH NOESSS I HIT PAN!!! (okay this is definitely a sad note)

I can imagine it now…

*me walks around without spots of orange—I mean peach—on my cheeks*
(me no likey pink blushers…makes me look like a porcelain doll…I’m hardly a doll, I’m the wall)

Them: Are you sick?
Me: Huh? =.=
Them: You need to lie down?
Me: Hah?
Them: You need a time out!
Me: Erm…


Them: You look miserable.
Me: …*sigh*…
Them: Bad day?
Me: *forced smile*
Me: No…no…nothing like that. (La, la…maafi kida…) (<--Arabic lesson number one. La and maafi are some of the most important words to know. It means no and nothing. And it is used in almost every sentence. No this, nothing that, no that, nothing this. And this lesson is brought to you by the random mind of this blog’s author. I don’t know why. I just type it. LEYSHHH KIDA YA 3QIL?!)

That is true though, when I first walked by without spots of peaches (peach sounds a lot cuter and softer than orange…) they thought I was a walking corpse with bacteria flowing out of my skin.

Me: …
Me: …okay. You’ve asked for it. I’M LECHUCK!!!

(you…probably…won’t get that joke. Haa…)

Did I really look that horrendous?? Meeeeh….. find a Japanese brand in the land of European cosmetics is another problem...

(oh and if you’re wondering that’s Canmake Cheek and Highlight in No 2 well the color is nice and sheer and the effect is natural but the glitters are too chunky so you might not like it that much and personally I think KATE and Majolica Majorca make better blushers drugstore-wise of course but hey if you have more budget you should totally splurge on Maquilllage Face Creator or Lunasol I LOVE LOVE LOVE Maquillage and hey more budget than that then snag yourself Benefit Coralista or Chanel Joues Contraste CORALISTA IS AWESOME really this blog has become too random for my own comfort but anyway take this one liner sentence without full stop review with a grand of salt but anyway really I do love these brands mentioned above JUST SAYING.)

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Hate is such a strong word.

You know there’s something wrong with me when the total of this month’s blog posts exceed the actual date.

And you know there’s something wrong with me when I’m supposed to read books yet here I am reading blogs.

But truthfully, my mood has been kind of low lately. I can’t help but distract my mind with whatever it is that could get me distracted, and that includes hopping like mad I guess.

I hate how you’ve tried your best to not aggravate a person with your demeanor or even your words, but others take that for granted and treat you like they are the boss of the world.

I hate how you care for their feelings all the time but never did they care about yours.

I hate how close-minded some people can be. Shouldn’t they expand their minds a little bit and look at things in a different perspective?

I hate how when they are in trouble, you help them unconditionally, yet when it’s your turn, they seem to not notice.

I hate how someone decided to ignore you for no reason at all.

I hate on keeping a straight face all the time.

But most of all, I hate how mere things like this could affect me more than it should.

P/S: And get this. I hate these feedjits thingy and things like that. Whenever I hop (with a devil smile plastered on my face) around people's blogs, I saw this green flag trailing my way. Like, people will know instantly that this stalker is me leh! Ahhhh get off me~~~ (but you can't do anything bad because this flag is sacred...what's with the kalimah syahadah on it. But that's beside the point.)

Waaaah you can't become invisible even on the internet. Ceit.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Niqab Part 2


((click here for Niqab Part 1))

Now, wearing niqab might sound nice and cool…

But I don’t think you'll get much oxygen into your lungs, since your face is tightly covered and all. In fact, sometimes I feel kind of dizzy and weak--okay, that's not important.

What's important is that, you will somehow, encounter these problems.

If you are young and unmarried, there's a big possibility that you will…

Be treated like a Queen. People will make way for you, treat you better, give you accommodations, which are all kind of awesomeness.

And, be stared by adolescent boys. Not in disgust, of course. Far from that.

It was one of the weirdest things that has ever happened to me.

*somebody stares*
Me: What’s he looking at?
*stares like mad*
Me: Is there someone behind my back?
*still hasn’t stopped staring*
Me: …can’t possibly be looking at me, right?

Because why would you look at me when I practically looked like others?!

That’s urm…interesting.

I decided to observe more about this matter, asked plenty of people about this, and I found out that yeah, cover or no cover, if it’s a girl, then they will stare like they’ve never seen a girl before.

…okay maybe that last statement has a ring of truth in it.

Still, it’s weird!

And this reminds me of this videoclip that I saw on TV.

Majid Al-Mohandes - Mijana

She covered her face! Okay, not thoroughly but still, her face wasn’t visible.

But the man stalked her like mad.

Mad mad mad.

Can’t deny that she’s pretty though, but still, the man—okay you get that already.

I suppose the scene matched the lyrics, but then, I’m not that knowledgeable about Iraqi’s accent either. XD So I can’t comment further on that.

لابس الهبري وقالبته قالب
…wears the habry (another type of black cloak)…upside down/upwards?


Right! So that’s explained why she covered her face with her cloak aka habry and not with a niqab or hijab.

Still, doesn’t this strike you as odd?!

I’m trying to get used to this.


*people stare*

I’m not looking at you…>.>

P/S: And in case you’re wondering, if they fancy a girl, they will only stare. And if the girl likes him back, she will also, only stare. Then, if the girl walks away, he will follow (just like in the videoclip). And stare some more. Nothing more than that. What, do you want to risk your good name and get thrown into the jail? Much better to marry an unknown girl who won your mother’s heart instead of being scorned upon by the community. :D

Niqab Part 1

((I lost the draft for my work, and now I have no idea about the conclusion of what I’ve written (I like to twist the whole story until it melts and wriggles in pain). Also, instead of figuring the whole matter (by asking simple questions and try to break the mystery myself) here I was, updating my blog…You can definitely tell that I’ve been slacking off this month. Not a good start for new year huh? =.=))

Anyway, I went out just now, and somehow I was inspired to write this.

As you probably know, one of the rules for women in KSA is to wear their long, black cloak called abaya, and cover the head with a piece of scarf called hijab. The rule applies to everyone, including non-Muslim, and if you were caught not wearing one, big chance the police will drag you to the police station and throw you into the jail.

I’m not kidding.

Niqab however, is not compulsory in Saudi's law.

I has the chocolat eyezzz 8D

You can roam the big cities, namely Jeddah, without covering your face, and you’ll be fine. That being said, the other states in KSA are probably not as open-minded—you’ll feel uncomfortable if you happened to walk around baring your face. They will stare at you, in remorse, in disgust, perhaps oddly as well, so it’s better to blend in and not stand out as much. Save your makeup and trendy abayas for Jeddah instead.

To the eyes of Saudi—according to the imam—the most respectable woman is the one who covers her face, and wears clothes like those women from Prophet Muhammad’s time. Thus, the reason for the implementation of long cloak and niqab in their lives.

But from what I’ve learned, the women, namely Prophet Muhammad’s wives, or precisely, Aisha r.a., didn’t wear these kind of niqabs (veil with hole for eyes) either. She wore a thin veil in front of her face.

Narrated Aisha: The woman is to bring down her hijab from over her head and then place it upon her face. {Bukhari:6:60:282}, {Sunnan Abu Dawud 32:4091}

But according to Mazhab Shafie, you can’t cover your face and hands while praying, not even when performing Umrah or Hajj.

However, I saw those women praying while wearing their niqabs, even when there were no men in sight.

I conclude that they follow different mazhabs then.

But it still bugged me, so I decided to ask my teacher.

She answered, “You can’t cover your face while performing Hajj. But if you must, then wear a thin veil, not a niqab that tightly cover your face.”

Narrated Aisha: The riders used to pass by us when we were with the Messenger of Allah in ihrām. When they came near, each of us would lower her hijab from her head over her face, and when they passed by we would uncover our faces. (Sunnan Abu Dawud 1:1833)

I certainly didn’t see that among the Arabian women. They wore the niqab 24/7. Okay maybe not.

But certainly, niqab is not compulsory in Islamic law?

Narrated Abu Dawood, said Aisha: " Asma'a the daughter of Abu Bakr came to see the Messenger of Allah, wearing a thin dress. So Allah's Messenger turned away from her and said: "0 Asma'a, once a woman reaches the age of puberty, no part of her body should be seen but this -and he pointed to his face and hands."

If anything, this shows that your face is not part of the aurat, yes?

So, as long as you wear modest clothing and cover your aurat while in the presence of men, it’s fine I suppose.

BUT. I like wearing niqab.

1. People won’t recognize me, and thus, reduce the chances of them badmouthing me.
2. FREEDOM! Yes I’m sure some people would find this odd. But it’s like walking around without having a face, and you needn’t worry about anything.
3. Sand won’t get into your eyes or nose…awesome!
4. People would take your opinion seriously. They won’t get distracted—okay, maybe if the eyes are pretty enough then they will get distracted—but the point is, your opinion will be heard.
5. People treat us equally, because obviously everyone didn’t know if she’s rich or poor. So that’s a plus.
6. Can’t think anymore.

And you’re probably wondering, if the women in Saudi cover their faces, then how are they going to find their soulmates?

Well apparently the mother of the groom will visit the potential bride, and if she likes her, then they will tie the knot.

Oh, and the groom apparently, can only see the bride a week before marriage. Or so I was told.

What if the bride was ugly, huh? Well, at least her inside was beautiful. Uncorrupted by the world, untouched by the mortals, unseen by the eyes of unrelated men…doesn’t it feel special to know that your wife's face has only been seen by you?

That being said…

Meh. All Arab girls are beautiful.

A friend of mine commented that Arab girls aren’t cute, only beautiful. We Asians are cute.


That’s good to know. >.>


((click here for Niqab Part 2))

Friday, January 8, 2010


I was grinning idiotically—was supremely happy because something totally irrelevant made my day—when my friend yelled, "Hey I found your blog!!!"


Me: Urm…ehm…mmm…
Her: Can’t understand a thing though.
Me: *gasp* WHOA! YAY!!!


Wait you're not supposed to react like that, right?

Uhh, I don’t think so. >.>

Anyway, she further added, “Your blog’s title sounds like a guy’s name! Why??”


Well, not the first time I received such comments. XD

I remember back then, when I was 14, I was in a huge debate concerning the Korean boybands vs Japanese boybands in a forum—


I was fourteen…>.>

Oh and they thought I was a guy. So my opinion highly matters. From a guy’s perspective. Apparently. And it was about boybands.



Well, if we were to reminisce the history of my blog’s title, then we need to go back in time when I was 11 and nearly 12.

I was making one of the toughest decisions in my life!

Signature, I mean. :D

You need signature for plenty of things, bank accounts, passports, identity card, all those stuff…

And perhaps I was fretting about it more than necessary.

But really, I don’t want to constantly change my signature. Yup, don’t want that. So I studied my family’s signatures, and this was what I observed.

My first brother: AAH.
My second brother: AAH.
My third brother: AAH.

*irokhe duri…aah…*

And I remember commenting, “You three have identical signatures.”

They gasped.

And quickly lashed out, “No we don’t!”



I thought of using my initials as well, but then, it’ll be too short. And HAR (my initials) sounds exactly like the laugh of a pirate.

HARHARHAR… *eviiiilll*

*obviously was too obsessed with Monkey Island at the time*

My fourth brother noticed the similarities of our initials as well, thus he tried to make his signature slightly different.

It was ‘Catto’.

And if I remember correctly, it was derived from the word ‘Cattophobia’…whatever that means. Phobia of cats?


I’m thinking it has something to do with KRU.


And then there’s my sister—

“No you can’t see.”


Me: Aww—
Sis: Take your puppy eyes elsewhere!


My eyes are too small to be considered puppy-ish anyway. Perhaps cat-ish, slits and all.

But I think I saw her signature once, and it was HAR.

Now now…can’t possibly rely on my initials now can’t I??!

So I asked my parents, and these were their signatures.

Mother: ZAI

Maybe I should use Hud…

Father: RACHZ

That didn’t make sense at all…


I asked him about the significance of those letters, and this was his answer.

R is his name, A is his dad, C and H is his mom…

ME: What about this Z?
Dad: There’s a Z?? *looks* Oh yeah, Z…hmm. Well, that’s your mom.
Me: …oh.

I bet he just realized that.

I thought of using his ideas, and I came up with HARZ.

And my siblings were all, “HARZ HARZ HARZ…HARZ! FUNNY!”

“No, it’s Har zed.” (because you know, we pronounce Z as zed…or something…like that?)

“Harzed sounds funnier.”

That did sound kind of weak, huh.

“Then I’ll use Harzeq! Wahaha…harzeq.”

I’m sure they were trying very, very hard to contain their laughter.

And I always heard a faint snicker escaped from their lungs whenever they saw my signature.


Okay…so that is how…I gained the nickname. (I wasn’t aware that it’s a guy’s name at the time lol o.o)

Oh, and my signature too, of course.

Maybe I should change my blog’s title. D<

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Testing—eh silap. Erm. Uhm. Hah! Percubaan Bahasa Melayu.

Kesuma hati me…



Saya sebagai rakyat Malaysia memohon maaf kerana tidak menggunakan Bahasa Malaysia dengan betul. Bukan saya tidak mahu, tetapi otak saya tidak mahu bekerjasama dan berfungsi dengan seeloknya. Pada pendapat saya, otak saya sengaja berbuat demikian kerana dia…


Otak saya tidak bagi saya berfikir.

My brain is the cruelest and evilest thing alive D<

Oh and by the way, this post is terribly useless. I'm not sure why I even bother posting it up. :D Probably to show my lameness in attempting something that my brain refuses. D:

The idea of writing in Malay (my intention was actually to write a poem in Malay, but failed miserably) was triggered after reading Kesuma Hati because her poetry is so sweet—it’s almost vomit-inducing. Oh, but it inspired me nonetheless.

Oh well.

Sekian. :D



First up: Al-Fatihah

I’ve been thinking of posting some Arabic’s simple grammar… (and you can check the pronunciation here)

But it’s too much of a hassle. I’ll explain along the way, then. :D

First, let’s start with some simple surah…

Wait. Which one to use again? Not sure.

Then I remembered this.

Teacher: I need you to do this every night.
Me: Enshallah.
Teacher: Before going to sleep, sit down, exactly at the kiblat’s direction, be certain that miles away, Kaabah is in front of you.
Me: *nods nods*
Teacher: Recite these surahs while holding up your hands. First, Al-Fatihah. Next, ayat Al-Kursi. Then, the three Quls—Al-Ikhlas, Al-Falaq and Al-Nas. Now, these surahs that you’ve read are in your hands. Massage it to your face, to your head, to your arms, body, legs, everything. From head to toe, everything.
Me: So that the surahs will protect our entire existence?
Teacher: Exactly. May nothing could disturb you while you’re in an unconscious state.

(that teacher is an imam…hence the serious tone…)

Well, hope you find that interesting, and practice it in your everyday lives. :) Never hurt to try, you are simply giving yourself some sort of a shield. Because who knows what could happen when your soul is elsewhere XD

So I suppose I should start with Al-Fatihah then. :D

اعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم‎
a3ud'u billah min alshai6n alrajim/ a3ud'u billahi min alshai6n irrajim
I seek refuge with Allah from the satan, the accursed.

اعوذ – ‎I seek refuge (ana (me) + 3ud' (verb - seek refuge) = a3ud' (simplified) Every word that has alif at the front and pronounced as 'aaa' refers to yourself.)
بالله – By/with Allah (bi has dual meanings – by or with, depends on the situation)
من – from
الشيطان – The satan (al simply means the)
الرجيم – The accursed

Quite simple, right? :)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Bism Allah alra7man alra7im/ Bismillah irra7man irra7im
By the name of Allah, the beneficent, the merciful.

بسم – by the name (bi + ismi (name) = bismi)
الله – Allah
الرحمن – the beneficent
الرحيم – the merciful

Now let’s start with the actual surah. :D

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ
Al7amd lillah rab al3lamin/ Al7amdu lillahi rabb il3lamin
The praise to Allah, the god/lord of all worlds

الْحَمْدُ – the praise
لِلَّهِ – Allah
رَبِّ – God/lord
الْعَالَمِينَ— all worlds

الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Al-ra7man al-ra7im/ Alra7man irra7im

(explained above)

مَالِكِ يَوْمِ الدِّينِ
Malik yaum addin/ Maliki yaum iddin
The king of the judgment day.

مَالِكِ – king
يَوْمِ— day
الدِّينِ—the judgment

إِيَّاكَ نَعْبُدُ وَإِيَّاكَ نَسْتَعِينُ
Iyyak na3bud wa iyyaknasta3in/ iyyaka na3budu wa iyyaka nasta3in
To you we worship and to you we seek for help.

إِيَّاكَ – To you (when the Alif is pronounced as ‘iii’, it becomes an order word. And when there’s a kaf at the back, it refers to ‘you’. Iyya + k (you) = Iyyak (to you))
نَعْبُدُ— we worship (nahnu (we) + a3bud (worship) = na3bud)
وَإِيَّاكَ— and to you
نَسْتَعِينُ— we seek for help (nahnu (we) + asta3in (seek for help) = nasta3in)

اهْدِنَا الصِّرَاطَ الْمُسْتَقِيمَ
Guide us to the straight path.

اهْدِنَا – Guide us (Ihda (verb – huda. Pronounced ‘iii’ – order word) + nahnu (us) = Ihdina)
الصِّرَاطَ— the path
الْمُسْتَقِيمَ— the straight

صِرَاطَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ غَيْرِ الْمَغْضُوبِ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلا الضَّآلِّينَ
9ira6 allad’ina an3mt 3laihim 8’ir alma8’9’ub 3laihim wa la al9’llin/ 9ira6 allad’ina an3mta 3laihim 8’air ilma8’9’ubi 3laihim wa la a9’9’llin
The path of those that’s been given benefit on them, not the one that’s been seethed on them, and not the one who’s gone astray.

صِرَاطَ – path
أَنْعَمْتَ— benefit (ni3mat)
عَلَيْهِمْ – on them (3ala (on) + him/hum (them) = on them (3alaihim))
غَيْرِ – not
الْمَغْضُوبِ — the seethe
عَلَيْهِمْ — on them
وَلا — and no
الضَّآلِّينَ— those who went astray

Literally means safe.


So next time you’re praying, make sure you know what you’re saying! :D

When the green overtook the brown... :O

On that particular day, I returned home, fully clothed from head to toe—literally, I wore gloves and covered my eyes with the veil because the sun was very, very harsh, and I wore sneakers as well—when I noticed something odd, and quite enthralling to be honest.

I snapped some pictures, thinking of posting it on facebook, but then I was reminded that I don’t like to update my stuff on facebook all that much.


Thus, the photos remained untouched, accumulating dust (can you find dust in a SD card though?) later forgotten by yours truly…


I heard the photos cried at nights, begging me to be published. Sorry photos, I do want to publish you, but not exactly on facebook.

Then I think someone hit me at the head—I think it’s the camera—no no, it’s just someone else’s blog, and it was—Hey I COULD post those in my blog!


Why does the thought have never occurred to moi before? D:


Anyway, you’ve probably known this, but there was a heavy downpour in KSA earlier (precisely during Hajj time). The place that suffered the most was Jeddah—the city was heavily drowned with flood. It was severe, alright, but if you want more information about that, then I advise you to google it, since I am prone of giving false information you see. :D

Without further ado…let’s have a closer look!

This is a typical sky in KSA…

(oooh blueeee....and the sun is definitely unbearable here, mostly due to the lack of clouds. But the plus point of having clear sky is that you can gaze at the moon during night time and see every imperfection and freckle that the moon possessed. Really. The moon looks so big here. And clear. And blinding. Ahhh me eyessss D:)

This is how the sky looks like during my stay in Arafah (the day after the heavy downpour).

(was supposed to snap that helicopter…but ehh, you can see the thick clouds all the same :D)



Well, since rain and clouds are such a rarity in this country, you can bet that the land is mighty dry with constant sandstorm blowing at your face, all the while lacking the greenery…

near sunset...

in the morning...

But after the rain, look! The greens have begun to monopolize the land. :D

…as well as the mosquitoes.

Oh well, you gain some, you lose some. (and by that I mean, losing my freedom from the mosquitoes species…)

P/S: There’s a reason behind God’s every action. You might think that it’s bad, but if you look closer, then you’ll see the blessing in disguise.

There’s a reason why you drank mineral water instead of juice. D: The juice could contribute to sore throat…for example. Mineral water is better to quench the thirst. Yes. Yes.


Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Let's study the Quran...with me! :D

(sungguh ku tidak dapat menahan kepoyoan tajuk itu...err...hmm.)

I’m thinking of polishing my translating ability, and aside from that, I really want to do this because I lost my way with my blog (supposed to be that, but I get that, and I want to be that, but I don’t want to lose that, and then there’s that, so that’s that, so I figure, what the heck, really. Hmm).

I think it’ll be a good method of understanding the Quran better, both for you and for me. :D

But first, I suppose I will tell you about the magnificent way of Arabic’s romanization.

(because I can’t write Arabic sentence with those fat7ah and others)
(so I will write the ayat—sentence—in Arabic font, and type a romanization under it, as well as the translation.)

So first! Things that you should know. :D

Due to the increasing usage of cell phone among teenagers (or something to that extend), a romanization chart was created, so that everyone can type in Roman alphabet without having the inconvenience of constantly switching to Arabic font. However, the Roman alphabets and Arabic fonts undoubtedly couldn’t be matched thoroughly with each other, so they’ve incorporated numbers into the romanization chart to make due with the lacking of alphabets.

So! Let’s get over it.

(bear in mind, I live in Saudi, precisely in Rabigh, which is near Jeddah, so the people here mainly use the Hijazi slang—or something like that. I myself have been using that pronunciation as well, since it’s the one that I’ve been exposed to, so I will use that slang in my translation posts. Other parts in the world speak the words differently, and that is especially prominent in Egypt, and I will discuss it later if I have the chance, but let’s not stressed about that at the moment.)

Let’s begin!

• ا = a (say aaa…yeah, that’s how you pronounce it.)

• ب = b (baa baa black sheep. Okay I should stop being silly.)

• ت = t (bit your tongue and say tta.)

• ث = t’/th – but I prefer th (bit your tongue and blow some air and say thaaa…)

• ج = j (just like Jim)

• ح = 7 (take a deep breath and blow out a hard HA!. Really, you need to be harsh. HAA!)

• خ= kh/7’/5 – but I prefer 5 (scoffing sound. Do not spit. Okay sorry for the grossness. But your pronunciation needs to be pronounced! So practice those khooooooo with those saliva vibrating in your throat. Okay, major disgusting alert.)

• د = d (soft daaaa.)

• ذ = 'd (bit your tongue and try to say daa and zaa at once, leaning more towards daa. It will result in ddza…)

• ر = r (It will be better if you can roll your r.)

• ز = z (ZAAAAA simple.)

• س = s (slithering thin saaaaa that will make the glass shatters.)

• ش = sh/ch/s^ – but I prefer sh (just the sh in shampoo.)

• ص= capital S/9 – but I prefer 9 (thicker S. Don’t make it thin. Do not. D:)

• ض= capital D/9’ – but I prefer 9’ (thick DHO)

• ط = 6 (place your tongue on your palate and try to say, THO.)

• ظ = Z/6’ (some people pronounce it as dzo but in my place, it sounds more ddzo than dzzo. So in a way, zuhur actually sounds as – dhuhur with a twinge of z.)

• ع = 3 (tighten your throat and try to say ‘a or nga or…something like that.)

• غ = gh/8’ – but I prefer 8’ (deep from your throat, try to spit out GHO)

• ف = f (simple faa.)

• ق = q/8 – not sure which I prefer, but possibly 8. (because here, it’s more pronounced as go rather than qo. But try to speak in between k and g, or if you can’t, g will let you get away just fine.)

• ك = k (just a straightforward KAY.)

• ل = l (LALALA)

• م = m (MAMAMA)

• ن = n (NANANA)

• ه = h (HAHAHA…soft ha. Don’t need to spit it out or something.)

• و = w (WAWAWA...)

• ي = i/Y – depends. (yiyiyi. yayaya. Okay I shall stop now.)

That concludes this post for today. :D Make sure to tune more later for some fun…well I hope I’ll be able to provide some fun. Well, it’s fun!

Till we meet again. :D


Read the Al-Fatihah post here :D

It's better to fill those empty heads with fuzzy wuzzy happy stuff.

When you’re depressed or feeling slightly low, you should never, ever…

1. Poke someone.
2. Disturb others.
3. Especially strangers.
4. Prickle someone’s nerves.
5. Act like a lunatic.
6. Especially in front of strangers.
7. Very uncouth you see.
8. And will give you such a bad impression.
9. And will cause your face to be permanently streaked with natural blusher.
10. Which sounds kind of awesome.
11. Cuz you don't have to buy any of those blushers—okay, I’m getting out of topic.
12. …
13. Yeah stop troubling others with your insanity!

But if you somehow did the unthinkable (examples above)…

Then just keep a straight face.

And smile. :D


Oh, and if they asked, just give them the most blatant reply you could think of.

With a straight face, of course.

That is all. :D

P/S: I’m very cheered up now because some of my friends are being just as insane as yours truly but I somehow spread the insanity far than necessarily…to a stranger no less.

Oh well.






A clear head is better than fuzzy wuzzy positive wonderland.

Yesterday wasn’t a very good day.

Yet I was reminded by what my father said—if you can’t eat the whole cake, to have a bite is fair enough.

So I suppose I was happy yesterday, depends on your definition of happy.

And by happy…well, I was happy to have noodles for lunch…?

I was feeling quite depressed, and further irked when people tried to motivate me.

Sometimes, it’s better to not think at all.

Because if you try to have a positive thinking, it'll only give burden to your head.

For example, You really don’t want to do this anymore.

But, if you don’t do this, your efforts would be wasted.

And then it’ll burden you on thinking that you must go on with the work, or else, everything will be for nothing.

It’s better to have a clear head and not think of anything. Just let the pieces fall into their places. Don’t think of giving up, don’t think of the complications, just carry on with your life.

Keep a straight face. And laugh it off.

That is all.

P/S: One day, I will read this back and laugh at myself. Yes. Certainly. Right now, let me smack my head for the nonsense it gives.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

[WTTWOF] When Zahari and Najhan...

...were at the art gallery.

(This is a teaser, sort of what would happen after Metamorphosis :D)


“Isn’t this weird?”

Najhan could feel a bucket of ice mercilessly thrown upon his existence.

He shivered.

“Come on, now,” Zahari tapped his fingers, “It’s so glaringly obvious.”

Scratching himself, Najhan squinted his eyes, deliberately losing in thoughts. Detecting a slight miniscule imperfection—or oddities of the painting even—was definitely a challenge of its own.

Especially when the referred painting was none other than a masterpiece created by Avery Ventris, who seemed to have a knack of displaying odd subjects in his paintings.

This one was no different. Aside from the blatantly overjoyed expression portrayed by the two teenagers and this one infant, there was nothing remotely interesting to mull over, definitely nothing worth mentioning.

Well, not to Zahari, of course.

“What do you think?”

The question caught him off-guard.

How he wished he could escape from Zahari’s curious inquiries, but the exit door was too far for his reach.

Well, Zahari was indeed one of the most patient people he ever met. He always considered others’ opinions as precious as his own. And that was an understatement.

Somehow, Najhan marveled in that, but on the other hand, it did make the whole situation thoroughly torturous.

“Well,” he swallowed. “These…” what do you call these figures in paintings again? Oh well, characters, he supposed, “Characters…”


Revelation struck Najhan’s head, and he found himself grinning. “Yeah, that. Characters. Subjects,” his brain was being rebellious, he was sure, “Well, those…”

He actually half-expected Zahari to cut his sentence, but he did no such things.

He sighed.

Continuing, he said, “Well these…subjects, didn’t look that old.”

Well, of course. They were kids.

The subjects’ timeline, he meant. They didn’t seem to fit the 19th Century era. Mr. Ventris couldn’t possibly visualize the children of the future, could he?

Najhan sincerely hoped that the thought would forever be engraved in Zahari’s head.

“True, that’s one of the major weird points,” Zahari acceded, “But there’s another thing that’s been bugging the hell out of me.”

Najhan knew exactly what he meant, but his façade was at stake now.

But he tried to appear blasé. “Yeah?”

“Don’t you think that these two look awfully like Ikhwan and Nadirah?”


Because I really love my characters you know :D

Check out the book here.


Monday, January 4, 2010

Hajj 1430 - Part 5 - A Day in Mina (III)


No really, this is uncalled for. Four posts in two days?! This is like eating macaroni and cheese for four days straight. You are bound to get sick of me (I mean my posts) and secretly want to throw up at my face (I mean my blog).

Or maybe that’s just me.

Anyway, I figure I’ll continue with my amazing Hajj adventure, and cut the story short.

Because I think I’ve been typing nonsense in those last four—or was it three, or five? Uhh—posts.

(I’m a math genius, and a splendid memorizer, but my brain decided to rebel out of a sudden)

(yes you shall be sick of my ever-so-often self-praising)

(okay maybe I should cut down the self-praising as well)

(and the blabber)

(which reminds me, I should stop writing in these brackets)



There’s nothing to be excited about really, since I practically eat it everyday, but something about discovering edible breakfast made my heart leaps with joy.

Not that biscuits aren’t edible, but given my history with recent biscuits puking…not in the mood AT ALL.

So we quickly grabbed the bread, (because everyone was like, took a bite and left the leftover there, yes yes quite disgusting) and was about to grab the curry, when we noticed that it was all gone.

Except for those leftovers, where people took a bite of the bread, dipped it into the curry, and left it there. On the table. Leftovers. Definitely.

My reaction at the time was…


Not verbally, of course.

And I was so looking forward to that curry, because it smelled oh so yummy.

That, and it was one of the edible breakfast.

Such a waste, but nothing could be done, except for inhaling the delicious aroma of the curry…that came from the leftovers.

In fact, the aroma tempted me so much that I was even contemplating on grabbing the leftovers. No one could tell. It’ll be just one of my secrets. And my sister’s. And those people who passed by and saw my uncouth manners. Not like they cared.

But nah, it didn’t worth the effort.

After several minutes idling in the canteen, waiting for the staff to restock the curry, only to be disappointed that it won’t happen, we decided to grab some cheese and what looked to be fresh olives and several jams and headed back to our camp.

There, everyone hadn’t taken their breakfast yet, only their morning coffees, so having the mighty bread, we shared it with them, since it was fairly large.

And bland.

Good thing we managed to snatch some cheese and strawberry jams. Oh, and honey as well. And I nearly forgot the milk! Yes, milk. So I took a sip of the milk, and thought, hmm…

Well, bear in mind, living in KSA has spoiled my taste buds. I think the foods here are supremely delish. Very fresh, very concentrated, and in fact, everyday, I drank fresh milk, fresh yogurt, 100% strawberry juice, and several other awesome beverages.

Told you about spoiled taste buds.

So then, I sipped the milk, and thought…


I’m not a big milk-drinker. One of the reasons was that milk tasted so awful, like those powder mixed with water.

Which is basically it.

Therefore, you should know that drinking fresh milk is definitive heavenly—the taste is like a concentrated milky substance—okay, I suppose it tastes like milk.

But the powder milk doesn't taste like milk!

Despite having 'milk' in its name.

Anyway, I tried to force it down, but by the time I reached a quarter of it, I gave up.

My mother was obviously very mad at me. At rejecting a substance that will give me stamina and energy of course. Not because of the wastage. Because if you can't shove it down, don't force it! Unless you want to burst it up.

But anyway, I countered, “I don’t want to puke again!”

Which is quite true, by the way.

Upon hearing my reply, my mother didn’t say a thing, continuing with her tea, while my sister kept on nibbling those cheeses. Lots of my camp companions decided to take a shower (which, at the time, I discovered that we did have shower after all, wherever that is) and my mother urged me to have one as well, but the long line of humans sent shivers down my spine, so I said, “Umm…I think I will sleep first.”

My mother gave me the green light, and off I went to the land of dreams.

And dreamed of…

Hey! This is one of the most interesting things that happened during my Hajj trip. I don’t think I dreamed at all when sleeping in Mina.

And seriously, sleeping in Mina is extremely comforting (despite sleeping on a short sofabed, and I have quite long legs…to the point that I was often the one in charge of switching the lights, because the location of the switch was very, very hard to reach). Never had I feel so relaxed and rejuvenated!

Truly a precious memory.

And so, ladies and gentlemen, I will end this post.


Well I guess this post is kind of crazy.

I will write better next time. Perhaps more seriously? Yes. :D

Well, until then. XD

P/S: Oh so this the fifth Hajj post! Noticed that while typing the title heh XD

Should they refer to God as Allah?

When I first came to KSA, and watched those programs on TV, my first impression was…

They couldn’t possibly be all Muslims.

Yet they say Allah, Allah, Enshallah, Mashallah, Al7amdulillah…

Stupid me, I didn’t do much research about the Middle East (only KSA, and I found out that it’s the strictest country in the Middle East) so I basically thought that all of these Middle East countries are basically, very religious and covered from head to toe.

Well, I was wrong, apparently. According to my friend, all of Arabians in KSA (not including foreigners) are Muslims. But Lebanon, Egypt and Syria to name a few, have Christians and other religions as well.

And those celebrities on TV with ultra sexy attires and heavy makeup are mostly Lebanese or Egyptians, meaning that most of them are Christians. Well, there are Muslims too, but generally, most of them are Christians.

But the problem is, they have Arabic names, which gave me the impression that they are Muslims, so that was confusing.

What makes it more confusing, was that they referred to God as Allah. This is the main reason for my confusion.

In fact, I was so confused that I somehow stumbled upon a Christian preach. It was interesting, nonetheless, to hear their view. I’m always open-minded, and they were questioning the legibility of Prophet Muhammad. And while their reasoning wasn’t that legit (they claimed to say that Prophet Muhammad was under the influence of the jinn, not the angels, and he was delusional in thinking that he was the last prophet. That is laughable, because no way could those jinn have such big influence, but anyway, hope I didn’t offense anyone. It’s just something that they said, not me, really. THEM) to hear the other side of the party is always interesting.

But continuing the topic, indeed, the word ‘Allah’ does mean ‘God’ in Arabic. It’s their language, and they should use it, since it just means God, right? Regardless of which God they meant, what’s important is the belief in our hearts. Same could be said with the word ‘God’. It’s in English, but that doesn’t mean that it’s exclusive to Christians only. Everyone uses it, just on different context. It’s just the language. It’s not as if we are referring to those Greek’s and Hindu’s gods—those gods have names and it’ll be plain wrong if we were to use that.

Allah simply means God in Arabic. In the Arabic Bible, God is referred as Allah, same could be said with the prophets, excluding Prophet Muhammad of course, since Christians didn’t believe in him.

So here comes my point.

Apparently, in Malaysia, people were raging on the High court for allowing the Catholic for using the word Allah.

Read here.

Some were against it, some didn’t.

I think both have solid points.

The Bad
>Confusion overload, definitely. Malaysian’s youths are vulnerable nowadays, so no doubt that they will unconsciously sway to the wrong side of the lane. But then they didn’t get confused when people uttered God, regardless of religions. But still, better to not take chances?
>And anyway, Malaysia is not at all like these Middle East countries. We have been exposed from birth that Allah refers to the Muslim’s God, so to hear others from different religions utter the word aloud would sound very, very odd indeed. And misleading. And confusing.
>Erm…prone to blasphemy?
>Anyone wants to contribute more to the bad? :D

The Good
>Take it as a form of da3wah. The word God enlightens everyone about Christianity. Perhaps the word ‘Allah’ will expose more people to Islam.
>Unity. We all believe in the one God. Not gods, not goddess, not godling, but simply God, which is Allah, the One. We believe that there is a force that controls the universe and everything in it.
>Meh my brain just freeze.

But anyway, to avoid confusion, maybe they should just use the word ‘Tuhan’ to refer to those other Gods. This is to refrain people from disrespecting the sacred word of ‘Allah’, and avoiding from further confusions.

But hey, if they want to use 'Allah', we shouldn’t object either. We didn't have the rights anyway. The word is not exclusive to Muslims, same could be said with God; it isn’t exclusive to Christians either. It’s just the language. It means the same thing. What’s in your heart is the only thing that matters.

This reminds me of something that used to happen back when I was in secondary school.

People were reprimanding non-Muslims for saying ‘Assalamualaikum’.

I said nothing, because I didn’t know if they were allowed to say that or otherwise. I decided to save my breath for myself because I was unsure. And stupid. And my voice couldn’t be heard anyway.

But then, I realized that Assalam 3alaikum just literally means…peace on you.

So, if a non-Muslim were to say that, it’s perfectly okay apparently. There’s nothing religious in that phrase. (even those Arab Christians use it)

If they can’t use it, then we might as well couldn’t use any other forms of greetings in other language as well. Yes, hello included.


Well, this is strictly my opinion. I’m afraid I’m not that knowledgeable to discuss it further, but I figure I should just share my view. This is my blog after all.

That is all.

EDIT: Well, this is an old entry but do give this a read. It was well written and I agreed with it thoroughly. Except of course, the Malaysian's youth is very vulnerable nowadays...

But of course.

Wa qulil 7aqqu min rabbikum, faman sha falyu2min, wa man sha falyakfur. (18:30)

And said: This is truth from your God, whoever wants to believe, believe, whoever wants to disbelieve, disbelieve.

La ikra7a fiddin. (2:257)

There's no force in this religion.

(I happen to translate those ayats myself so it didn't sound THAT professional, huh? D:)