Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Bizarre dreams...

Daniel Schaumann’s post here reminds me of the dreams that I often experienced back then, a dream so vivid and lucid, I always felt like crying and tearing my hair out due to the great tormenting of it all.

Of course, his situation may not resemble mine in any way, (I don’t think someone like him will experience this kind of things in his life, maybe the dream means nothing at all) but I thought I should share my own weird dreams and how I cope with that. :D

Let me cut it short and talk about the good parts. I couldn’t remember much of it to be honest, but I was having a spectacular dream, sweet and merry, when everything suddenly changed.

Two men began to capture me, confining me in my own room. It was frightening, and what’s worse was that when this kind of dreams happened, no voice could escape from my lungs, and I was as weak as a deflated balloon. Funny, but true. I couldn’t lift my hand, I couldn’t scream, it was as if my entire existence was pinned to the wall by their power.

Their faces were one of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen. Lizard-like, taunting, didn’t resemble a human at all. And I thought that was horrendous, until I saw their boss. There, in front of me, stood a man in his black cloak. His face was the definition of horror. Hunger and thirst were prominent in his features. He wanted to devour me, I was sure.

(And no. I didn’t watch any horror movie prior to this.)

Except no, he wasn’t thinking of devouring me. He was trying to claim my soul. I can see that he was concentrating on entering himself inside of me, and this is the moment when everything became too weird to comprehend. His soul entered from the tip of my toes, slowly making way to the top of my head. I was burning, the pain was sizzling, too real to ignore. I can feel him manipulating my body, slowly relinquishing my soul.

Of course, when this sort of things happened, it’s wise to ask for God’s help. And in my case, I recited the Quran. At once, my eyes flew opened.

It was traumatic, and lying there in my bed all alone was too frightening, so I quickly dashed to my parents’ room.

I can’t help it. The pain was still sizzling, and I was cold all over.

I still remember muttering, “He’s inside me…he’s inside me…”

I really am not exaggerating the fact. This is only one of the dreams—there are others where I actually die and go to who-knows-where, only to wake up and notice that I’m still alive.

That is weirder. I really thought I was dead. I can feel the angel of death taking my life away—okay I’m not telling more of that. :D

So, what’s the explanation for all these bizarre things?

If you go to any shaman or someone like that, he will tell you that you’ve been possessed by the evil spirit.

If you go to any psychologist or anyone of that sort, he will tell you that your mental state is unstable.

Truthfully, I believe in the evil spirit, but if I were to discuss that, then this post will stray towards the religion path. So let’s focus on the scientific aspect instead.

What causes these things? Psychologists claimed that it has everything to do with your own mind, and if such dreams happened, it means that your head is troubled. They’ll give you pills to calm your nerves, motivation for building up your confidence, and of course, advises on how to promote a healthy mindset.

In a way, these things worked on its own way. The motivations from the psychologist—while undoubtedly annoying—relaxed your mind without you noticing it. Your heart might not accept it thoroughly, but your mind absorbed all of his words, calming the rage that you may feel in your soul.

One of the advices that the psychologist gave me was to always have a little jog in an open space. Breathe in the fresh air, let your mind rest, indulge in the serenity of the greenness, and slowly, taking in the happiness of the environment around you, noting on why were they happy, why were they smiling, and how you could have a smile on your face too.

Next is the matter of finding your own true passion. And once you’ve found it, your mind will concentrate on that entirely, and gradually, your mind problems will go away.

Of course, the pills help in controlling the mind, emptying your thoughts, and simply adding a sprinkle of happiness. Without the pills (especially for those chronic patients) it’s hard to control yourself. You need a fresh start to think it through, and it’s quite difficult to achieve without those pills. However, I would advise to cut your pill intake as soon as you’ve began to regain control of yourself, since the side-effects are not as pretty.

Side-effects include addiction to the pills, obviously.

Friends and family are also important during the healing process. They are mostly in-charge of bringing a smile to your face. Without their care and love, you might not feel the happiness of life straightaway. It’s possible to stand up on your own, but the presence of others definitely hastens the whole healing process.

Once you’ve breathe in the happiness and joy, your mind will be filled of positivity, unconsciously setting a barrier in front of your soul. However, these things could reappear if we’re not careful, because we’ve experienced it and all, so it’s wise to keep your emotions and feelings in check.

Things to do when you’re troubled (but not that chronic) – distract your mind in doing the things that you love, appreciate everything around you while holding a smile, look at things in a different perspective, and just try to be happy. That’s the only thing that could help. Even if you can’t feel the happiness, if you find just a small, insignificant thing that amuses you, hold on to that. Don’t let it go.

So that’s how it is from a scientific point of view.

Of course, I’m trying to not branch into the evil spirit subject.

I’ll talk about the evil spirit subject, if I feel like it. :D

P/S: And hey, since I'll be 21 this year, it means that I've experienced this for 10 years already. Whoa...? XD


Daniel said...

This is a very interesting blog, my friend! I completely agree with what you say about the scientific viewpoint of your nightmares and how a psychologist can help remedy the situation, but at the same time I also feel quite strongly about the spiritual aspect as well.

As with you I don't want to get too caught up in the religious debate, but I fully believe that if you are in a weak emotional state of mind, you leave yourself open to harrassment from negative entities. The more this happens, the more you slip into a depression, and so the cycle continues... perhaps your dream was a way to simply show you what was happening, in order for you to take steps to work on living in a more positive frame of mind? Whether this is the case or not, it's good to hear things took a turn for the better in the end :D

And I'd love to hear more about your thoughts on the evil spirit subject too, just out of interest!

Take care,


Huda said...

Yes I absolutely agree with you. :D I take this as a valuable experience, and it did transform me into becoming a better person. :D

Perhaps I will write about my spiritual take on this matter later, after I gather enough courage of course! XD