maybe nonsense can have some sense.

There is a will from Hassan Al-Bana that says, “Do not waste your time doing nonsense things even for a second,” or something like that.

And I have to say, I don’t think any ordinary human is capable of doing that without reaching for worldly matters for a brief second.

Like we’re supposed to study but we don’t. Like I’m supposed to try my brilliantly genius study plan but here I am blogging.

But there’s a reason, maybe. There’s a reason why I suddenly want to blog. I’ve always loved blogging. I have tons of blogs before, most of those under different nicknames, with this being the first that carries my real name. All because…well…it connected to my facebook, that’s why.

Those other blogs were connected to random forums, and people there knew me by my nickname, and so…that’s why.

Talking about that, I hate how every time I googled for this particular thing, my blog will be the first that popped up.

Tells you how no one shares my view, huh.

Anyway.

Most of the time, after listening to music, this thought will often occur to me…

“I’M WASTING 5 PRECIOUS MINUTES OF MY LIFE BY DOING NOTHING BUT HEARING THIS SONG AHHHHH—”

Because you see, I am NOT AT ALL capable of multitasking, so listening to music, even while surfing the net, is impossible for me.

I have the habit of listening to every aspect of a song, from the voice to the instrumentals to imagining the possible dance and performance and music videos and the crowd’s reactions—

Simply said, my brain couldn’t handle much activity at once.

But it’s always brimming with positivity, deluding me with its sweet words…

AT LEAST I KNOW HOW A KOTO SOUNDS LIKE!

…erm…yeah.

YOU’LL KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS WORD IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE!

…because I always check the lyrics and translations. And ¾ of my song collection consists of foreign songs so…

Naturally, I know quite a lot regarding languages. Kind of. But the point is, at least I’ve been exposed to the beauty of other languages and if there’s a situation that demands such language to be used then I can easily overcome that situation!

And well, it’ll look good on your resume. Hello, I can speak *this language* and *that language*.

(well actually I’m not sure if I can speak those language but I sure do understand those…kind of.)

(but if they asked for certificates then I’m doomed because I learned all of those by myself.)

(but hey, at least you can play all those Japanese games. You know how the American versions of those Japanese games always came out late.)

(…if you learned Japanese, that is.)

Another pointless thing that I did lately is…I watch lots of foreign dramas.

I DID think that it’s pointless.

But my smart brain said that AT LEAST I can stare at a person thoroughly without the paranoia of being caught.

Because…I’m not sure exactly, but apparently I have the habit of observing people…a bit too much.

I remember back then, I was walking with my older sister, and I said, “Hey that girl over there has creases on her pants.”

And she lashed out, “Stop looking at people’s pants you’re embarrassing me!”

DX

And another one.

*saw my distant third-cousin*

“Oh it’s you! No wonder your shirt is familiar.”

“…”

Seriously. Shirt??

Me: :D

Honestly, observing people in real life is tough. You saw a lovey-dovey couple in front of you and all you wanted to do was gawked at them and observed their manners and actions and so on but you can’t because it is an uncouth behavior and you’re supposed to ignore and pretend to not see them so yeah avert your eyes now you should close your eyes!

…but I want to watch them…>.>

So here comes the dramas/series! :D

There, I can observe a person’s personality, their reactions to situations, what people do when confronted with stuff like this, what should we do or shouldn’t do if a person is like this, or was his hair nicely gelled or does it stick at the back, or he has double piercings and a dragon tattoo, or what kind of eyemakeup did she has or whether her lashes clumped, or he wore a jacket in one scene but didn’t in another scene, or anything…at all.

Granted, dramas are often exaggerated to the max and couldn’t be considered as slices of life, or so I was told. But it is fun to see a world created by those people behind the scene, a world where they believe humans would react this way when presented with situations like this, and such circumstances could occur in the most bizarre and unexpected times.

And I also have a habit of watching the making of a drama/movie, and if anything, it only makes me want to be a scriptwriter.

Weird that. Because I totally am aiming to be a tailor as of now.

That is so random.

You know, if I could draw, I would have become a mangaka (comic artist) ages ago.

But alas, I don’t have such talent.

So it used to be…detective>healer>author>tailor>scriptwriter>I’m thinking all I will ever be is a translator or typer (wait is that a word...?).

I can type really…really fast.

All thanks to me doing nonsense things back then by writing [SOME STUFF WON’T TELL YOU WHAT].

If not for that, I don’t think my typing will be fast enough, and I don’t think I will have the pleasure of being a part-time urm...typer.

I will type and they will look at my fingers in fascination. In fact, they often commented that the way I type is like playing the piano.

…maybe I could become a pianist.

…maybe not.

[danger I’m complimenting myself ugh]

[well sometimes you just need to compliment yourself]

[it’s great on getting your spirit high]

SO THE POINT OF THIS POST IS.

You might think that your current actions are pointless…

But in reality, you’ll thank yourself for doing random things in the past…it could become handy sometimes in the future.

I am a living proof. :D

Not that I’m encouraging you to procrastinate or something…

Well…

:D

This post doesn’t really make sense, doesn’t it? =/ XD Oh well. :D

Itslikeyouspendyourtimeinfacebookallthetimebutyoullseethatbydoingthatyougettoknowyourfriendsbetterandwillstrengthenyourrelationshipsandstuffsointheenditsnotsuchatimewastingthingtodoafterall

.busy DNW.

.I may not be blogging much nowadays because I’m currently…

Writing…



Reading…


Dancing…lol

Headbanging…

Spazzing…

Listening…

[INSERT RANDOM TIME WASTING SONGS HERE]

Drooling…



Debating…



Watching…

[INSERT RANDOM CARTOON IN ARABIC DUB HERE]

Googling…

[INSERT RANDOM ON-TOP-OF-MY-HEAD THING HERE]

And of course…

Memorizing…

[SHALL NOT TELL YOU WHAT I’VE BEEN MEMORIZING…]

But most of all, I’ve been…



And…



And that is my update for the day. :D As you can tell, my day is quite packed. Doing nonsense things of course.

Now you’ve known the blandness of my day.

Puhahaha….:P

Just a thought.

Even though I now live in the other continent…

I still feel as if Kuala Lumpur is just mere hours from here, Singapore’s a mile away, UTM’s just around the corner, my brothers at their workplaces, my cousins at my hometown, my friends hanging out at Jusco, and me in my home.

Even though we’re separated by the blue sea, I still feel as if they are breathing in the same place as me.

True enough, they’re still on Earth, but I can feel their presences, despite how I can’t freely see them like I used to be.

Well, it's not as if I see them often anyway, huh?

And that is why, I suppose, I don’t feel homesick.

Maybe.

The thought of me living miles away from them never really struck my mind. That is weird.

But I do feel kind of weird talking to my sister, brother and cousins who live abroad. Makes me think how far I am to them.

So double weird there.

Oh well.

:D

Hold your tongue.

I think being my dad’s phantom is a good thing.

Is it a good thing? I think it’s a good thing. I’m being one at this particular moment, hence the busyness and lack of appearance in several sites that I often frequent.

That, and the fact that my modem decided to unleash his anger on me and refuse to do his job. He won’t connect me to the internet. He refuses to do that. That sucks. And so I resort in ninja-ing someone’s line. Because I, more or less, resemble a ninja more than anything nowadays. I’m very good in being a ninja, I think. I even thought for a second that I’ve grown invisible and could escape from the nosy nose of sitemeter, but that didn’t last long. I suppose sitemeter has reinforced his guarding system and detected my presence even though I tried to act like a ninja. That sucks. But all I ever wanted is to be a spy. Or a secret agent. Or something. But CIA hasn't contacted me yet. Fine. I'll just be a detective then. But I found out that I couldn't really handle dead bodies. Not because the corpses give me goosebumps or anything, it's more of the fact that the unmentionables won't leave me alone. Whatever that is. 8D Or or, I could be an attorney, or a prosecutor even. But I sound like a frog. Or a mouse. Wait. I vaguely remember my friend commenting that my voice sounds like a cartoon character. And that is not a compliment. According to her, that is. Now. Such cartoonish voice couldn't be taken seriously in court, wouldn't it?? I might be shrieking 'Objection' and people wouldn't notice that it's me. And so I wanted to be a spy. Because then people won't hear my cartoonish voice. But CIA hasn't contacted me yet. Wait, I've said that already.

...

Well.

THE POINT IS.

I’m sorry for my absence on YM (…and Twitter…). O.o I’m trying to get my modem to work again! XD

That, and the rest of the time I was online, I kind of was heavily absorbed in the drama that surrounded 2PM and the likes.

Not that I’m a big fan of 2PM, or was I heavily infected when the leader was kicked out of the group, or the revelation that the members turned their backs on the leader, betraying them, as the fans (or should I say, ex-fans?) claimed shocked me senseless, since I don’t follow them that much anyway, so I wouldn’t know, but the point is, it took only a snap of fingers to crumble the wall of respect and loyalty.

Or in this case, it took only a handful of words to make someone lose trust in you, resulting in a cold war between the hottests and the hottest time of the day (uhh…2PM? :D).

Now, some of the hottests (2PM official fanclub) are out to get them, all because 2PM themselves said that the fans didn’t do anything to protect the leader or 2PM from the scandal.

And the leader himself led a dirty life.

And some other stuff.

The fans are furious. Who are they to say that the fans didn’t protect them? And the leader led a dirty life? What a bunch of hypocrites.

Thus they revealed the group’s hard-kept secrets, the horrid truth behind 2PM’s smiling faces, as if mocking, we didn’t protect you? Really, you think so? What is this then? These secrets we’ve kept for years? Leader led a dirty life? Well what do you know, so do you! Fine! You won’t protect leader? Then we won’t protect you anymore. Let the secrets and truth run loose, and let’s see how you manage them when such things happen.

Or so I get the impression.

Moral of the story.

Beware of the things that could escape from your lips. No matter how tired or frustrated you are, it’s unbecoming to add sparks to the fire.

Because the hottests are already burning with rage at the time, so to speak.

On the other hand, perhaps mixing hottests and 2PM will only create more fire, I don’t know.

All of the above shouldn’t be taken seriously. I just feel the need of pointing that out.

We should offer water to the burning fire and watch the sparks died down first. Let the minds think rationally, and if the situation deems it, then propose your thoughts.

But most of all, don't point fingers because as they say, when you point a finger at someone, the rest of your fingers are pointing back at you.

Yes I’ll keep that in mind.

Confess.

I’m not sure what got into me. Perhaps it was the chilly yet crisp air of Medina’s morning, or maybe it was the ambiance in general, but as I sat there in the Nabawi Mosque, waiting for the Fajr prayer, I come to a conclusion.

God really doesn’t give me what I want, but He always gives me what I need.

I remember how I prayed, and prayed, and prayed more yesterday, hoping that my dream will come true…

But as I sat there earlier this morning, I wasn’t so sure anymore.

Supposedly my wish was granted and I got what I wanted, but if it only will cause heartache in the end, why should I bother?

Perhaps all I ever wanted is not what I really need. If my wish would only prove hazardous to me in the end, then maybe it’s best for that wish to be left in the dust, never be granted.

I remember wanting to jump a grade so bad and pass the PTS test. But I didn’t.

I get it now. Fourth Grade is the beginning of my achievement.

I remember how I didn’t particularly care about my UPSR results, but I got good results nonetheless.

Because of this, I gained much respects from others. This is vital, because then I’ll prove to be incapable. But I was respected nonetheless. All because of the UPSR results.

I remember how I wanted to go to this boarding school so bad, but that school never gave me their offer letter, another school did.

In the end, I went back to my public school. I get it now, the reason I wasn’t offered by the boarding school of my dream was because I would have humiliated my sister if they did.

My life was destroyed by this thing called disease.

But this disease is the thing that saves my life. If I didn’t experience it, I won’t have the chance of boarding the plane and live with sands and camels and goats, won’t I?

The only thing I ever wanted was a normal life, like my friends, if you will, but I got nothing of that sort. Because of that, I live an obscure life. Because of that, I am quite isolated from the real world. And because of that, even though my heart is black, my mentality is quite green. And because of that, I somehow have the chance of living here.

I never wished to be here. I’d never dreamed of stepping a foot here at such a young age. I never dreamed of learning Arabic in the first place. That’s too far of a dream for me to obtain. All I ever wanted is a normal life, but I suppose that dream is far too stretched than the dream of living here.

I am not destined to be like them then, I get that. I don’t really care.

If what God gives me is all I need, then I’m fine with that. Really, only God knows best about anything at all.

I know nothing.

And so…

I will just keep on studying, and stop trying.

After all, like they said, you should only give up when you’ve done everything within your power to obtain the stuff. If you give up because things are getting hard, then you should try harder.

I’ve tried everything within my power. If the other party wouldn’t spare me a chance, if they couldn’t open their hearts to accept me, then what more could I say?

I’ve prayed to God. I’ve tried my hardest.

But this is it, then. If I didn’t get it, then it’s okay.

It’s just something that I don’t need.

Maybe something better will come later. Things that will really prove useful to me.

I just need to wait, then.

May better opportunities come to my doorsteps soon.

Amin.

P/S: I should have locked this post, shouldn't I? Private and all.

Well.

I don’t really care.

Ins and Outs February Edition

Supposedly February is the month for lovers…well, what can I say, such a melodramatic month this is. :D

Ins
>I’m trying to study diligently and avoid distractions so I’ll eliminate all those other ins!
>I bake too much lately due to my mood inconsistencies…piemuffincakelasagnapizzacurrypuffwhoaimawesome (can’t really eliminate this. Baking is good, isn’t it??)

Outs
>Metal songs begone! I love metal to death especially death metal (lol…no actually I like symphonic metal better) but I think my ears are beginning to deafen.
>I watched too many Korean dramas I think I forgot some Arabic and Japanese words so buhbye dramas.
>I must stop listening to those dramas’ soundtracks and daydream about the scenes (or scenes that will never happen but only in my head).
>I don’t like Facebook that much. If only I can say the same about Twitter. Well. CAN’T. D:

Despite all that, I’m going to Medina tomorrow for a couple of days, and I don’t think I’ll have the chance to study there, so I wonder if my resolution will still have its impact when I return.

Hopefully it will. That’s why I wrote this post.

;D

May all of you have a splendid holiday~~~ :D

Me is Me, and You is You

How distinct are we? Have you ever met a person that reminds you thoroughly of someone else, from the end of her hair to the tip of her toes?

Most often, even if you found someone eerily familiar, there’s always this tiny difference that sets them apart, making them unique in their own ways. Be it with their attitude or their thoughts, there’s no one in the world that resembles you.

So before thinking that you are forgettable or typical, and no one will remember you because others are far spectacular, think again.

In this world, there’s only one you. How lucky they are to know you, because no one else could experience the awesomeness that is you.

Let your own charms shine through. That is the secret for a better you.

Stop pretending to be someone else, because that someone is not you.

Just be yourself, and you’ll see that you’re just as cool.

P/S: Doodling...sleepy...doodling...sigh.